I had a dream...

Last night I had a dream. I saw my sweet baby's face.
I am ready to see this child in real life, in the flesh.
To hold them close to my heart and feel two hearts beating.
I feel anxious about the next step. The wait for a court date after our referral.
My heart breaks at the thought of that wait.

This morning Davis asked me, "What happens when you have a broken heart?"
I replied, "You are really sad."
"And then what happens when your heart isn't broken anymore?"
"You aren't sad anymore."

It sounded so simplistic, but she's 3. And some of it was true. Our hearts were broken into a million pieces before Davis was born. And when she arrived she was the magic glue that put those pieces back together. There will always be a bit of "sad" in there. Missing Tess and Oliver.

Our next baby, when he/she arrives will be a new magic glue. I also expect there to be a bit of "sad" in there. Sad for the circumstances, the beginning of the story. But the bigger picture, the day to day, I expect to be filled with Love and Happiness. I hope I will be enough for this baby and they will feel it too.

No referral today.

Boo.
:(
Rolyn off on a jet plane to sunny LA for the next 11 days. I'm happy my mom, sister and one of my nieces will arrive in nyc in just a few days. Davis and I will be super busy so here's to hoping days pass quickly.

I'm excited for all the Gladney families traveling for court dates, and those traveling to bring their babies home! I hope there are loads of court dates coming soon for those families that have had their referrals for awhile...I know that wait is the hard one.

Court officially closes Aug 6 until end of September / early October.
That's all I've got for now my peeps.
sigh.

Books.

When we first made the decision to adopt from Ethiopia I bought this book. There were chapters in this book that I could not read on my morning commute because they were too upsetting. (Bawling on the subway amongst commuters can be a little weird.) There are moments in this book that now, still, just thinking about bring tears to my eyes. But there is also a string of HOPE and so much love by one woman who by chance, in dealing with her own grief of losing a child to AIDS, stumbled into caring for orphaned children. Lots of them. It also has incredible amounts of history of Ethiopia as a country and how and why of some of the greatest catastrophes came to happen. I loved it. Could not put it down actually, even when I felt my heart would break into a million pieces. It is a must read.

I am currently reading this book. I am turning pages in awe of the information and so incredibly grateful I found this book NOW. I'm not that far into it, but I do know that it will become our go-to book for years to come.


I've also ordered a few children's books on adoption. Both for Davis and her little friends who are all very very interested in the whole idea of adoption. I'll give my reviews of those soon.

What are you reading?

I have no idea what day of the wait it is...

I just know I feel CRAZY.

Now what?

I've told and retold this story so many times but decided to put it here just in case there is someone that has not hear what "the call" means, what will happen next.

When we get matched with a baby it is called a Referral.
Our social worker from Gladney will call and say "I have a referral for you!"
Then Rolyn and I will rush home so we can be together to meet our baby.
We will call Natalie back and she will send an email with our child's file that will include pictures of the baby, all of their medical information as well as their background story. Then Natalie will walk us through all of this information and we will have a few days to accept our referral and move on to the next part of the wait. We will not be able to post any pictures of the baby online until we pass court. This is a very strict rule in all adoptions from Ethiopia. It will be hard as I'm sure we will want to scream from the rooftops and show EVERYONE our baby's sweet face.

Rolyn and I have decided that we will most likely keep the baby's background story between the two of us. We will not be sharing this for many reasons, but mostly because we feel it will be our baby's story to share when he or she is comfortable. I know this will be hard as many people are very curious, but it is what we feel will be best for our baby.

The next step will be waiting for a court date. The courts in Ethiopia close for the months of August and September so we expect a court date in October/November. Rolyn and I will be required to be present for this court hearing. We will have met our baby, but until we pass court will not be legally his/her parents. We will then have to return home (leaving our baby in the loving hands of Gladney caregivers) until we recieve our date to meet with the US embassy in Ethiopia. This takes approximately 4-6 weeks after passing court. Then we will travel to bring our baby home. Oh happy day!

I. can't. wait.

Day 8.

I'm feeling a bit more relaxed with the wait. I think after coming off 3 full days of not thinking about it, ok, wait, that's a lie. I was actually saying to myself I wasn't thinking about it today, but I was really thinking "hmmmmmm. Maybe we could still get our referral today, even though Gladney is closed. That would be a surprise!" ALL day.

Now that it's happy hour. I'm back to being relaxed with the wait. ;)
Check with me tomorrow, we'll see how long the Zen lasts this time.

Keeping with the music theme I've somehow started for myself, I'll leave you with this:



p.s. I would like to add one teeny request the the Universe. Please let my referral come before Friday. Rolyn leaves Friday evening and will be gone for 10 days...I would really really love for us to be together for the call. BUT don't get me wrong, if it has to come during those 10 days, we'll take it. Please don't wait. mmmmkay?

The day off.

Gladney is closed today for the July 4th holiday. Even though it's a Monday, we do not expect our referral today. We don't have to go to work either, it's a double-day-off!


Our July 4th weekend upstate was fun. Lots of sun, swimming, good food, good drink and great friends. I gave Davis her first haircut. Yes, she's almost 4 and this was her first haircut. Little lady didn't really have ANY hair until she was 2 and she had some catching up to do. We made it home to see the NYC fireworks from our rooftop. Davis unfortunately was fast asleep. She started a 2 week camp today so she needed to get a good night rest. We dropped her off this morning, she is going to have a blast. I'm so excited because there is a family in our hood that recently adopted two girls from Ethiopia age 3 and 5 and I've had several people tell me about them. So far no one has actually had contact info, but this morning I noticed this beautiful little one about 5yrs old and I asked if her mother's name was A and it is! YAY! Hopefully at pick-up time I will get to meet her. Cool.

I'm off to finish sewing the curtains and not wait for the phone to ring.
Stay cool everyone. It's gonna be a hot one today!