Nerves of butter...melted butter.

You know that saying Nerves of Steel? Well, yeah, that does not describe me right now.

I'm not worried about flying 14 hours with a four year old, the plane crashing or being felt up by at TSA agent. I'm not worried about how we'll get all of this humanitarian aid packed into 10 suitcases and still have enough room for OUR clothes (THANK YOU to all my peeps!)...or worried that said suitcases won't make to Ethiopia.

AND after speaking with the National Visa Center this morning, I'm no longer worried that our fingerprints expiring will hold us up on bringing Baby B home. BTW, it only took me three days of constant calling to get through. (Apparently it's easier at 8 a.m. for those of you that might need them in the future.) The agent I spoke with assured me that he thinks or assumes that the "thing" that has posted to the embassy in Addis Ababa would be our approval letter. He couldn't actually see it but "what else could it be?" errr, ummmm, okaaaaaay. I'll take that!

What does have me shaking in my boots/sick to my stomach/feeling as solid as melted butter? Our court date. December 22, 2010. I have heard all about how the procedure will go down. I know there might be a lot of standing around and waiting and uncomfortable-ness energy. I expect all of that.

We are one of the first families traveling since the court process has (again) changed. Previously MOWA (Ministry of Women's Affairs) would give their opinion approximately one month before we would be scheduled to appear in court. IF we did not receive a favorable opinion from MOWA, we would have some time to gather any additional information or our agency to gather additional information they might request or could be missing from our file or Baby B's file.

With the new process MOWA will give their opinion on our case the same day (+HOPEFULLY+) that we appear in court. Word on the street is MOWA might be a little backed up with issuing letters. Which could mean we might not hear the phrase "He's all YOURS!" on 12/22.

I am trying my best not to get ahead of myself and prepare my heart for delays. Kind of how I prepared myself for a referral in September/October, so I'd be surprised if it came earlier. But I think we all know that this is hard. Impossible really.

Today I decided I'm going to remain hopeful that all will go just as planned and on 12/22 you can come to this blog and "meet" our son. And honestly being positive and hopeful feels waaaaay better than not.

But... if someone would be willing to let me borrow their Nerves of Steel that would be great. I promise to give them back all clean and shiny.

:)


p.s. I've had the discussion with many friends and family about the process and how and WHY it takes so long when there are so many kids that need a family. And yes, it DOES take a long time... and the paperwork!? At times I thought it was going to kill me. BUT the sad reality is that adoption can be corrupt, without parents these kids are most vulnerable. Because of this we took great care in selecting an AMAZING agency (Gladney Center for Adoption) and welcome the extra steps to insure that all of these beautiful children are being PROTECTED. Every. Step. Of. The. Way.