My mom, aka Mimi, on the left and Rolyn's mom, aka Grammie, on the right. Both will travel with us to meet their new grandson and experience Ethiopia. I laughed at my mom's pic...wonder where Davis gets her dramatic tendencies? mmmm-hmmmm.
We are getting very excited and a bit a lot overwhelmed with the length of the To Do List.
When Natalie called yesterday and told me our court date was December 22, first I was over the moon to have a court date and then I just couldn't believe the actual date.
Six years ago on December 22 we found out we were pregnant. I couldn't have asked for a more wanted Christmas present. Soon after we found out we would be having twins. Again, wow. Tragically Tess and Oliver were born way before their due date and were too tiny to survive. Heartbroken is the only word to describe that time in our lives.
For more than a year after Tess and Oliver died, I started each morning with one song...Sam Cooke's A Is Change Gonna Come.** It was literally the only thing that could get me up on some days. I had versions by several different artists and sometimes played all of them back to back. Aretha, Tina, and on and on. Sam's made me cry. Aaron Neville's version for some reason made me smile. I always ended my morning walking out the door to work with this version.
When we finally got pregnant again, with one miracle child, it was a very anxious time. I spent 8 weeks on modified bed rest, 16+ weeks of full on bed rest and she still arrived early...thankfully she was healthy and screaming and absolutely perfect.
The first time we took Davis upstate to our little place in the woods, look who showed up to say hello to their baby sister.
Yes, two fawns. Hi Tess and Oliver.
Since then I've gotten lots of signs from my babies. The past two Mother's Days it's come in the form of Aaron Neville's version of A Change Is Gonna Come. The first time the computer started playing the song, even though the screen was black and we had no control over it...yes, strange, but true. Last year we went to a Mother's Day brunch and the restaurant was playing it when we walked in...
I love getting signs from my babies. Yesterday's news of our court date being December 22 felt so fitting to me. Full circle I suppose.
This morning I went to u tube to search for something and guess what was my first recommended video? (I have never searched this song on u tube before) I had no idea Seal had done a cover of this song, but I think it's beautiful.
**I've since done a bit of research and discovered that A Change Is Gonna Come was written soon after the death of Sam's 18 month old son (who accidentally drowned) and his response to his feelings of discrimination and racism in America.
We each got 5 shots. OUCH. Now all we need is yellow fever and we're set.
Davis still needs a few as we opted not to give her 5 all at once, which ended up being a good thing because she was diagnosed with strep throat a few days later. To bad for you that I couldn't take video of the whole scene, but I was too busy holding Davis down. I will tell you the screams could hold up to any scream in a Hitchcock film. Amazing that sound could come out of such a tiny body. She was going for the Oscar limping out of the office as if they had amputated several toes. But hey Davis got three lollipops...the big people (who received five shots) got zero. hmmmmmmm. Who's the smart one?
p.s. this physical pain distracted us from the emotional pain of watching a phone NOT ring with our court date for exactly 6 minutes.
When we first set out on this adoption adventure I was adamant about keeping our future child's story private. It would be his/her story to tell when they felt comfortable sharing. I had read a bit on the subject and it made complete sense to me... How would you feel if one day you realized that everyone, even people you did not know, knew your story...or even lack of story? How would you feel when you found out that everyone knew what happened to you and the circumstances of how you became an orphan? When I think of it and imagine it, it hurts deeply.
And then we got our referral...and we hadn't spoken about this subject in months...and we got caught up in the moment...and information was shared. And then we found out that the information was shared to others, not by us, but by people excited for us. I feel horrible. I feel heartbroken. I cannot take it back. I cannot reverse time.
I'm now sharing this for anyone waiting for a referral. You should really think about it and plan for it and make a conscious decision to share or not to share.
This post is awesome. (and also kept me awake last night...wishing I had been as strong for my son) Julie also talks about it here and here in regards to a child that IS ready to tell their story.
I am feeling pretty vulnerable sharing this as I feel like I have failed my son. As his mother I am supposed to protect him with everything I have. I also know that as a mother there are lots of times that I haven't felt like I was enough, that I had stumbled. But then after talking to other mothers about shared experiences, I can turn it around and feel ok, and know that I had done no permanent damage. I'm not sure how I feel about this one or what will make me feel ok.
Please do not misunderstand...there is NOTHING in his story (or any child that's been adopted for that matter) that I am ashamed of or my sweet boy should feel ashamed about... but I do feel that it is his story, and it's my duty to make him feel secure and safe with it.
One day Baby B, I will share all of this with you. I hope that you will understand I am human and flawed and won't always be perfect. But I do hope beyond anything that I will be perfect for you.
In Africa alone, people spend 40 billion hours every year just walking for water. Women and children usually bear the burden of water collection, walking miles to the nearest source, which is unprotected and likely to make them sick.
Time spent walking and resulting diseases keep them from school, work and taking care of their families.
Along their long walk, they're subjected to a greater risk of harassment and sexual assault. Hauling cans of water for long distances takes a toll on the spine and many women experience back pain early in life.
With safe water nearby, women are free to pursue new opportunities and improve their families’ lives. Kids can earn their education and build the future of their communities.
I would like to encourage everyone to open their eyes, and especially their hearts and do something. It doesn't have to be BIG. But it could be. I think you might be amazed at how your friends and family will come out to support you. I know I was blown away. Give up your birthday, have a lemonade stand or a bake sale. Or just donate to someone else's birthday campaign at random.
