Signs.

When Natalie called yesterday and told me our court date was December 22, first I was over the moon to have a court date and then I just couldn't believe the actual date.

Six years ago on December 22 we found out we were pregnant. I couldn't have asked for a more wanted Christmas present. Soon after we found out we would be having twins. Again, wow. Tragically Tess and Oliver were born way before their due date and were too tiny to survive. Heartbroken is the only word to describe that time in our lives.

For more than a year after Tess and Oliver died, I started each morning with one song...Sam Cooke's A Is Change Gonna Come.** It was literally the only thing that could get me up on some days. I had versions by several different artists and sometimes played all of them back to back. Aretha, Tina, and on and on. Sam's made me cry. Aaron Neville's version for some reason made me smile. I always ended my morning walking out the door to work with this version.

When we finally got pregnant again, with one miracle child, it was a very anxious time. I spent 8 weeks on modified bed rest, 16+ weeks of full on bed rest and she still arrived early...thankfully she was healthy and screaming and absolutely perfect.

The first time we took Davis upstate to our little place in the woods, look who showed up to say hello to their baby sister.



Yes, two fawns. Hi Tess and Oliver.

Since then I've gotten lots of signs from my babies. The past two Mother's Days it's come in the form of Aaron Neville's version of A Change Is Gonna Come. The first time the computer started playing the song, even though the screen was black and we had no control over it...yes, strange, but true. Last year we went to a Mother's Day brunch and the restaurant was playing it when we walked in...

I love getting signs from my babies. Yesterday's news of our court date being December 22 felt so fitting to me. Full circle I suppose.

This morning I went to u tube to search for something and guess what was my first recommended video? (I have never searched this song on u tube before) I had no idea Seal had done a cover of this song, but I think it's beautiful.




**I've since done a bit of research and discovered that A Change Is Gonna Come was written soon after the death of Sam's 18 month old son (who accidentally drowned) and his response to his feelings of discrimination and racism in America.