Six months ago today we saw his beautiful face for the first time. Tomorrow Bekalu John will be 11 months old. I'm trying my best to stay positive that we will be together for his first birthday. But as the day draws closer and closer my hope is fleeting at best.
It's been fairly easy to fall into moments of grief during this wait. As I look through 6 months of updates and pictures it hits me how much he's grown and changed. We have missed so many of the precious moments that make up a child's first year of life. I have tried my best not to look at other's adoption time lines because it gets the "WHY US?" questions flowing. Especially when I read about those that went from referral to home in less than 4 months. It DOES happen, just not with us. Our time line is filled with, ooooh hmmmm wait delay wait delay wait. So much out of our control. It is beyond frustrating.
I know that we will have a lifetime together. But honestly that offers me no comfort in this moment...I don't want to miss his first birthday or his first steps. But it's likely I will. And that is hard to accept.
“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.” ~ Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Oh Heather, I know there is nothing I can say that will be of comfort but I want you to know that I am here and thinking of you! XOXOXOXOXOXO
ReplyDeleteI hear and feel your frustration and sadness and I feel bad there is nothing I can say or do to change it. The comfort you need is that sweet baby in your arms. I hope and pray that you will be with him on his birthday.
ReplyDeleteThis precious boy is coming home SOON,,,,his GG (great grandmother) in Texas is waiting to squeeze him tight! His Texas PaPa and Mimi need a boy to spoil and a boy to dress up in cowboy boots and someone to play football and tennis and golf and "I Spy" and all that stuff. We are waiting to take Bek on a PaPa Adventure,,,it won't happen soon enough!! xoxoxoxo
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