Light.

After the afternoon spent feeling a bit sorry for myself, I started looking at this situation in a different light. While I believe the reasons the laws have changed do not have anything to do with, nor do they apply to, our agency, I do think they are rooted in a good, honest and well-intentioned place. And really, I suppose, I have no choice in the matter.

So. Enough with the whinging.

A little light for the darkness. Here is the list I came up with on my way home tonight why this could be a good thing.

1. We will make TWO trips to Ethiopia. That is twice the time to get to know the country, the culture, and the people of the birthplace of our child. (likely still not enough time, but better!)
2. Two trips means TWO chances to over pack suitcases with shoes, clothes, diapers, formula, school supplies, soccer balls etc. to deliver to those in need.
3. Maybe we will have the extra/time/chance to visit where charity:water is building the well. How cool would that be?
4. We will make TWO trips to Ethiopia. :)

I'm not going to think about how hard leaving Ethiopia will be after the first trip...at least not for now.

Sadness.

News today from Ethiopia. This does not mean that we cannot still adopt, but new policies have been implemented, effective today, that will require the adoptive family to appear in person in court to finalize the adoption. This means that Rolyn and I will have to travel to be there for the court date, then we will have to leave our baby in Ethiopia and return to the states to wait for our US Embassy date (which is currently a wait of 3-6 weeks after passing Ethiopian court). The thought of doing this makes me literally sick to my stomach. Thankfully our agency takes loving care of these children, but my heart is already hurting for the day that a long-awaited for baby will have to be left behind, even if it is for just a few weeks.

We knew going into this adoption that laws can change at ANY point in the process but...ugh.

Be Mine.

Happy Birthday.

2009 was one of those years that had one of those birthdays. You know the one that starts with a 4 and ends with an Oh. Honestly it was not as dreaded as I had imagined it might be. Aside from the mini freak out with the realization that I was in high school when my mother turned forty, and my grandmother was already a grandmother at 40. I wondered if Davis will even remember me turning 50. Other than that moment, there was just too much going on to think about it. We were full on into adoption paperwork and launching a new business and balancing everything with the almost-3-year-old and two full-time jobs. Rolyn felt horrible not acknowledging my "big" day. I told him puh-lease there were only so many hours in a day. I was really really fine with June 18 coming and going without any fanfare.

Or so I thought that was to be the case.

Somewhere around August or September Rolyn finally had a (little) moment to pause. Then he got an idea. A really big idea. A really really huge amazing idea. The PERFECT idea. And so he got to work all incognito and ninja like and made it happen.

Without me suspecting a thing. Seriously. Nothing. Me = Clueless.

Last weekend I thought we were headed to Rolyn's boss' apartment in the city for a little afternoon cocktail party to celebrate his new kitchen. Davis' babysitter came to hang with her, which for us is a rare weekend treat! On the way we were going to stop by a photography show at a local pub. Sounded like a nice afternoon to me. No pressure, no stress.

Little did I know that Rolyn was feeling so much pressure and stress he was about to pass out. Again, Me = Clueless.

We get to the pub and the door opens and I hear SURPRISE!
I was in such shock I could not even think. There standing before me were loads of friends and family. All singing Happy Birthday. As I slowly started to breathe again I realized that this was for me, I looked around the room. My parents, sister and brother-in-law, and three friends that are like family all flew in from Texas. Old friends and new friends from NYC that are my home away from home. Lots of beautiful children. I was in total disbelief (and still am even a week and half later)

He even set up a few video chats with friends in the South of France and Sydney that could not be there in person. Wow.

After watching/crying/laughing through an incredible slide show that had pictures of me as a baby through the next forty years of my life celebrating the big and little things with so many people that I love, I thought, "This is Awesome."

Little did I know how Awesome it was about to get.

Rolyn held up a flip chart. He asked me to read it out loud.

dear Heather,

In honor of your milestone birthday...

Your friends and family got together to raise...

$1,000...

then $2,000...

then $5,000!

...for a cause we know is dear to your heart.
charity: water.

Inspired by your generous spirit, 68 donations were made to provide 250 people in Africa with clean drinking water.

We love you.
Happy Birthday!

Needless to say I could not read much after $5,000. I was too moved to speak. Too teary to see. I have never felt so loved. And I thought, "It does not get better than this."

And then it did.

Today we received an email from charity:water

Hi Rolyn,
This is it!
In December we sent your funds to Ethiopia.
The construction has started, and we are ordering plaques to adhere to each water project site.
Yours will read:
Sponsored by: “Heather’s Big Heart”.
Thanks again and I look forward to following up with you in the coming months on our progress!
Best,
Christy
charity: water /charitywater.org

Ethiopia. This well is being built in Ethiopia.
Hands down. The Best Birthday Ever.

Let the wait begin.

December 18, 2009, we are officially waiting!

What a great Christmas present. I think December must be my lucky baby month. So far I've found out that all of my children are coming during the month of December. Tess & Oliver, December 22, 2004. Davis Lee, December 27, 2005. And now this new little one December 18, 2009. Though T&O are no longer with us physically, December 22 still goes down as one of the happiest moments of my life.

We're going to try to stay busy to pass the time while we await our referral. Currently the average wait is 7.5 months and then an additional 4-6 months to pass court and travel to Ethiopia. Maybe next December we will again have great news to share!

Letter in hand.

Just when I was getting down with the waiting, we received word from both Natalie and USCIS that our case has been approved and the letter was on the way. Two days later the letter arrived woooohoo!
We had a kids event for Wee See on Saturday morning so right after we dashed over to the closest bank to get our letter notarized so we could send to KBS. They are preparing the paperwork for our dossier. Everything signed and dropped off at fedex for Monday delivery. We arrived home and... BUMMER. In the haste of doing everything QUICKLY I didn't ask the notary when his commission expired. ugh. Dec 29, 2009. That will not do. So repeat steps 1 & 2 on Monday morning.
I would be lying if I didn't expect to be getting a response from both Kate and our Glandey social worker Natalie of "Congratulations! You are officially waiting!" From the sounds of it, we have approx. two more weeks before that happens. I need to stop reading other blogs adoption timelines as none of them seem to apply to OUR adoption timeline.
I am trusting that the Universe will bring us the child we are supposed to have at the moment he/she is supposed to come.
Until then I will watch and read and delight in all the other families that have been receiving their referrals and passing court and making plans for an Ethiopian Christmas IN Ethiopia. How cool is that! There are two families waiting to hear about their court dates TODAY. I'm keeping all my crossables crossed that good news is on the way.

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

I know the waiting has only just begun....but the wait for our letter from immigration is about to drive me crazy. It's been seven weeks since our fingerprint appointment. Hopefully (fingers crossed) it's in the mail and on the way to us, um, like, now.

We are back home from our week in Texas for Thanksgiving. We have SO MUCH to be thankful for...our list is quite long, and that in itself is something to be thankful for! Davis had a blast playing with all of "her people" and sealed her love for Oreo cookies. Something we do not have at home but both sets of grandparents seem to have in endless supply. She was in heaven. I thought her head would explode when she found out about dipping them in milk. ha!

We have been talking about her little brother or sister that is coming and honestly I have thought that it's gone over her head. But apparently not. It's funny how she has incorporated Africa into all of her imaginary games and stories. At school the week before we left they were talking about airplanes and she announced that she was going on an airplane to Africa to pick up her baby. And now at night she says, "I love you all the way to the moon and back, to Texas and back to Brooklyn and to Africa and back." She loves me far.

ok, so, now back to waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiting. sigh.