We are printed. yahoooooo! I was all set with our sob story of why we showed up 13 days early to get our fingerprints...you know, how this delay could delay bringing our baby home. I had worked on my best smile, my best Southern Charm that has been subdued demolished after years of living in NYC, I even worked on some tears. I. Was. Ready. 'No' was not going to be part of my morning. And then, we walked right in and they didn't even bat an eyelash. I'm not sure they even looked at the date of our appointment much less wanted to listen to the spiel we had all ready to go.
So there ya have it. Fingerprints. Check.
Moving on to stressing about 'Will the mail gods smile upon us?' Oh, yes please. Let's get all the paperwork to where it needs to be asap. Thank you, thank you very much.
:)
edited to add: I had NO IDEA there was a dog in this fingerprint. I just oogled imaged "fingerprint" and this one looked ok to me. When you see it big you don't see the dog. Weird, because little, yeah, ya can't miss it. hmmmmmmmm. Hello D.O.G. we miss you sweet baby girl dog.
Is this standard protocol in every adoption? I'm having some serious Déjà vu. I swear I've read the OH MY! OH ME! My Fingerprints Are Expiring!! drama on many an adoption blog. You would think that maybe they could make your fingerprints last 1.5 years instead of just 1? Seeing as how the average adoptions takes 1.5-2 years. geeeeeesh.
So. CIS Fingerprints, CIS stands for: U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services. Ours expire on January 8. You can apply for an extension 90 days before they expire. The extension involves CIS sending you an appointment to be re-fingerprinted. We sent in our application 76 days before they expire...almost a month ago. I have called twice inquiring about our appointment. Yesterday I was told that our paperwork is in the queue and should be in front of an officer "in a few weeks"...
screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech!
WHAT?!?! A few weeks? No no no no no. That just will not do. I, in my sweetest voice, begged the woman on the other end of the phone to do something. Anything. I explained that we are traveling in 4 weeks and then hope to be traveling again SOON after to bring our baby home. In the meantime, we must be re-fingerprinted, await our new approval letter, send this to another government agency who must then send the approval letter to the US Embassy in Ethiopia. Silently I thought to myself 'And that, my friend, does not sound like anything that is going to happen quickly.'
She said she would pull our file and try to get it in front of an officer asap. I will call again tomorrow to see if this really happened. Until then I am fretting about this ultimately causing a delay in bringing baby B home. siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.
All of you reading this who are waiting: Mark your calendars now, even get your mom or BFF to make their calendars for 88 days before your fingerprints expire. Get your letter written and post date it. Put it in a fed ex envelope and have it ready to mail on the 89th day so it can arrive with CIS 90 days before your fingerprints expire. And then be sure to call CIS to check to be sure you are in the queue. Make no assumptions.
edited to add: Thank you to MG from Texas who pointed out that it should be: Mark your calendar for 92 days Mail your package on the 91st day. DUH Heather.
My mom, aka Mimi, on the left and Rolyn's mom, aka Grammie, on the right. Both will travel with us to meet their new grandson and experience Ethiopia. I laughed at my mom's pic...wonder where Davis gets her dramatic tendencies? mmmm-hmmmm.
We are getting very excited and a bit a lot overwhelmed with the length of the To Do List.
When Natalie called yesterday and told me our court date was December 22, first I was over the moon to have a court date and then I just couldn't believe the actual date.
Six years ago on December 22 we found out we were pregnant. I couldn't have asked for a more wanted Christmas present. Soon after we found out we would be having twins. Again, wow. Tragically Tess and Oliver were born way before their due date and were too tiny to survive. Heartbroken is the only word to describe that time in our lives.
For more than a year after Tess and Oliver died, I started each morning with one song...Sam Cooke's A Is Change Gonna Come.** It was literally the only thing that could get me up on some days. I had versions by several different artists and sometimes played all of them back to back. Aretha, Tina, and on and on. Sam's made me cry. Aaron Neville's version for some reason made me smile. I always ended my morning walking out the door to work with this version.
When we finally got pregnant again, with one miracle child, it was a very anxious time. I spent 8 weeks on modified bed rest, 16+ weeks of full on bed rest and she still arrived early...thankfully she was healthy and screaming and absolutely perfect.
The first time we took Davis upstate to our little place in the woods, look who showed up to say hello to their baby sister.
Yes, two fawns. Hi Tess and Oliver.
Since then I've gotten lots of signs from my babies. The past two Mother's Days it's come in the form of Aaron Neville's version of A Change Is Gonna Come. The first time the computer started playing the song, even though the screen was black and we had no control over it...yes, strange, but true. Last year we went to a Mother's Day brunch and the restaurant was playing it when we walked in...
I love getting signs from my babies. Yesterday's news of our court date being December 22 felt so fitting to me. Full circle I suppose.
This morning I went to u tube to search for something and guess what was my first recommended video? (I have never searched this song on u tube before) I had no idea Seal had done a cover of this song, but I think it's beautiful.
**I've since done a bit of research and discovered that A Change Is Gonna Come was written soon after the death of Sam's 18 month old son (who accidentally drowned) and his response to his feelings of discrimination and racism in America.
We each got 5 shots. OUCH. Now all we need is yellow fever and we're set.
Davis still needs a few as we opted not to give her 5 all at once, which ended up being a good thing because she was diagnosed with strep throat a few days later. To bad for you that I couldn't take video of the whole scene, but I was too busy holding Davis down. I will tell you the screams could hold up to any scream in a Hitchcock film. Amazing that sound could come out of such a tiny body. She was going for the Oscar limping out of the office as if they had amputated several toes. But hey Davis got three lollipops...the big people (who received five shots) got zero. hmmmmmmm. Who's the smart one?
p.s. this physical pain distracted us from the emotional pain of watching a phone NOT ring with our court date for exactly 6 minutes.
When we first set out on this adoption adventure I was adamant about keeping our future child's story private. It would be his/her story to tell when they felt comfortable sharing. I had read a bit on the subject and it made complete sense to me... How would you feel if one day you realized that everyone, even people you did not know, knew your story...or even lack of story? How would you feel when you found out that everyone knew what happened to you and the circumstances of how you became an orphan? When I think of it and imagine it, it hurts deeply.
And then we got our referral...and we hadn't spoken about this subject in months...and we got caught up in the moment...and information was shared. And then we found out that the information was shared to others, not by us, but by people excited for us. I feel horrible. I feel heartbroken. I cannot take it back. I cannot reverse time.
I'm now sharing this for anyone waiting for a referral. You should really think about it and plan for it and make a conscious decision to share or not to share.
This post is awesome. (and also kept me awake last night...wishing I had been as strong for my son) Julie also talks about it here and here in regards to a child that IS ready to tell their story.
I am feeling pretty vulnerable sharing this as I feel like I have failed my son. As his mother I am supposed to protect him with everything I have. I also know that as a mother there are lots of times that I haven't felt like I was enough, that I had stumbled. But then after talking to other mothers about shared experiences, I can turn it around and feel ok, and know that I had done no permanent damage. I'm not sure how I feel about this one or what will make me feel ok.
Please do not misunderstand...there is NOTHING in his story (or any child that's been adopted for that matter) that I am ashamed of or my sweet boy should feel ashamed about... but I do feel that it is his story, and it's my duty to make him feel secure and safe with it.
One day Baby B, I will share all of this with you. I hope that you will understand I am human and flawed and won't always be perfect. But I do hope beyond anything that I will be perfect for you.
